here and there and back again....

i seem to be pretty bad about keeping up my little blog here. it has become quite a creative space, which i love. but i think i am going to make it more about everything... most of my life revolves around taking care of my love, Jeff, and our kitties. but i think i need a place to just write about everything. so...we shall see if i can make this a place to put down all my thoughts.

as i said, my life revolves mostly around taking care of my boyfriend Jeff and our kitties - Champy, Doggie and Bree. Jeff works as a press foreman at a large printing company. he recently got a promotion and will be receiving his new title in a few months after training is complete. and i am a homemaker that takes care of practically everything at our house. 

a little background on me. i left my job of 17 years as a banker a "touch" over a year ago and moved in with my boyfriend to care for our home, our kitties, and him. i have had some health issues in the past few years and they came to a peak about a year and a half ago. i have been a "fainter" for most of my life. i just pass out randomly for seemingly no reason. but in the last several years it has been happening more and more frequently. what used to be one a year...maybe, has turned into once a week. i saw several different doctors who couldn't really pinpoint the problem. they just put me on a bunch of random medications that didn't really solve the problem, just gave me horrible side effects. my heart rate is naturally high and my blood pressure is naturally low. so my heart rate will spike and my blood pressure plummets and i pass out. well, about a year and a half ago i passed out while driving. thank goodness i ended up on the side of the road with my foot on the break. i didn't hurt myself or anyone else, it was a miracle. but since that moment i stopped driving. and i have no desire to even THINK about driving again until i have stayed "pass-out" free for six months. then, MAYBE i will entertain the thought. when the time came for Jeff and i to move in together he was supportive and insistent that i not worry about having a job. if i need to go somewhere i walk or Jeff drives me. i do lots of shopping online since it is just easier. but the not-driving thing has not been an issue so far. everyone in my life agrees that mandy+driving is not a good idea!

so, that is pretty much my story of becoming a homemaker.  but a typical day for me is still pretty full, despite not driving. Jeff works 3rd shift (he leaves the house at 7:30pm and comes home around 6:00am) monday through friday, so he sleeps most days until about 2:00pm. so from when i wake up to when he wakes up is when i do most of my household chores. i also try to squeeze in a walk (typically 4-5 miles) most days. the evenings consist of dishes, laundry and vacuuming. 

i am hoping to treat this as more of a journal, a daily log of "mandy-things".  i will also try to post at least one picture per post. the picture below is from our trip to Vegas that we just returned from. 

xo

mandy

creativeness

i have been doing some creative things lately. i thought i would post a few of them. enjoy!

quotable

i saw a good quote today and wanted to remember it.

sometimes you have to give up on people. not because you don't care, but because they don't. 

so true.

feeling better today

ok, i have come off "the ledge" so to speak.

i talked to Jeff for a long time yesterday and he made me feel  lot better about feeling like i have to save everyone. he reminded me that everyone is in charge of their OWN destiny. i can say whatever i want and i can do whatever i want but ultimately it is up to the other person.

DUH.

i know this.

but it didn't sink in until yesterday.

and my other feeling...the one that no one is on my side and all of that...well, unfounded. Jeff is always there. he was wonderful. he knew something was wrong and he came to me to talk it out.

i guess sometimes i just need a good talk.

today my dad and brother in law are coming to take all the tools back from the weekend of projects. should be a quiet day today and i am looking forward to spending the day with my Jeff.

oh! and here is my beautiful new porch!

thankfulness and ranting

the power washing is done, and our new stairs are built. i am so thankful for my dad's help with these projects. he is always there to lend a hand with stuff like that. my mom and grandma came along for the ride and spent the afternoon sitting in the shade of our maple tree enjoying pizza and conversation. it was a very nice weekend. 

but...

i came to a conclusion this morning and i need to rant. 

i am everyone's person. everyone. i am the one who lifts people up, keeps them encouraged, makes sure they are feeling ok and happy. it is my unspoken job to inspire everyone. and 99% of the time i do this job happily and with great enthusiasm because i thoroughly enjoy helping people and making people happy. it is something i have loved doing my whole life.  

but i realized this morning that it doesn't really feel like it is anyone's job to inspire me. sure, it is there if i ask for it from various people in my life. but no one seems to be generally worried about my well being. 

don't get me wrong.

i have so much love in my life. i am loved so deeply by my beloved Jeff and so completely by him and our families. 

but, it just feels like no one is "lifting me up" unless i ask for it. and that sucks, because no one wants to ask for inspiration...then you feel like a burden. 

alas...when we have no other job but to be everyone's hero...who's job is it to be the hero's hero? 

POWER! washing :)

today my dad is coming to the house to help us with some projects that need to get done. today starts the power washing of the house, and this weekend he is coming to help us rebuild our back stairs that got crushed by a tree that fell in a storm earlier this year. and my dad is bringing my mom and grandma on the weekend trip, so it will be a busy few days for us! here is hoping everything goes smooth.

                                    

                                    

i hope everyone has a great day!

~mandy~

my first giraffe

i have never painted a giraffe before which is strange since i love them! i thought it would be fun to try. not too shabby for my first try i think. acrylic on canvas board.